


"Are you Proud Of Me, Phil?"

by BoundedTrident



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Based on their character ing the SMP, Dadza, Dream Smp, Family Dynamics, Insane Wilbur Soot, No Beta, Other, They/Them Pronouns for Eret (Video Blogging RPF), This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, We Die Like Men, Wilbur Soot Needs a Hug, l'manburg, maburg, sleepy bois inc - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:01:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27587164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoundedTrident/pseuds/BoundedTrident
Summary: “Are you happy Wilbur? Is this what you wanted? Do you feel any remorse for what you did to them? To me? You said if you can’t have L’manburg no one can! This is exactly what you wanted so why aren’t you happy!? Is it because Tubbo is dead! Niki can’t even look at you like she used to! Look around Wilbur! Everyone’s dead because of you!”Wilbur doesn’t respond, taking a sudden interest in his shoes.“We were children! We were kids! We should be living our fucking lives instead of trying to cheat death because y’know what? Everybody fucking dies so why? WHY couldn’t you let us live?!”“We were trying to keep you alive, that's what all this war has been about.” Wilbur responded, sorrow in his voice.____________________________________________________________________________________How did you get this book? It should’ve been burned a long time ago. It doesn’t matter. You must be wondering what happened, well I’ll tell you.(PLEASE read the notes at the beginning)
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 113





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Major Character Death, Gore, Cursing, Voices
> 
> What if Schlatt never knew about Wilbur's plan? What if Wilbur pressed the button? What if (L')manburg went boom? 
> 
> (Honestly considering if I should make this a series)

# "Are you Proud Of Me, Phil?"

* * *

“i tried to do it differently, i tried to make them all my friends, but now i want them _dead_.”

Written days before the festival, signed by WilburSoot

“I thought it was going to be satisfying to watch Manburg turn to ruble. But at what cost? How many lives were lost because of my poor decision? Why did I do it? Why the hell did I decide that was the best option? Was it because I saw people having fun under a president’s reign that isn’t mine? Am I jealous?  
  


I am the villain aren’t I?”

Written an hour before Wilbur went missing 

xxxx

  
  


It’s been one week since Wilbur went missing. Dream couldn’t blame him, if he was completely honest he would want to disappear if he caused the death of friends. Sighing, he removes his smile mask, putting it on the coffee table and picking up a picture of himself, George, and Sapnap. Smiling softly as tears roll down his pale cheeks.

_Some memories are just the worst form of torture…_

  
  
  


xxxx

Wilbur and Tommy stood at the top of the NASA building, the wind blowing through their hair as they watched Tubbo get ready for his speech. Everyone’s eyes trained on him. 

“ Wilbur you can’t do this..” 

“Why not, Tommy? Isn’t this what you want too? If we can’t have L’manburg then no one can! Can’t you see Tommy we are the villains, so lets be the villains everyone wants us to be… I am going through with the plan, whether Tubbo says his lines or not, whether you agree with me or not.” Wilbur responds, looking at Tubbo with anticipation.

“Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. I’m actually too short to reach the microphone so it doesn't, you know, work like Schlatt. A wise man once told me that L’manburg was like a lettuce,” He looks over to Schlatt, who happened to be to his left and nods, looking back into the crowd before carrying on. “There are so many layers of tasty healthy goodness. And once you wash off all the caterpillars and worms off the surface, it's a pretty goddamn good meal!” The crowd claps and cheers, though there were two who stayed quiet. 

“Schlatt has successfully washed all the insects off our great nation. And with that he’s allowed the goodness and tastiness to shine through. Ladies and gentlemen, I would like you to look around at what we built today. Look at each other. All of this, thanks to the democracy and leadership of JSchlatt.

“ And isn’t that what this festivals all about, democracy? Our people have been beaten down by royals, and by dictators for so long. Now we are finally free. Free to elect who we want, free to live how we want, and most importantly free to go wherever we want without the confine of those huge black walls. So with that in mind, I’d like to thank everyone for coming to this wonderful event. And on the note,let the festival begin!” Tubbo had finished his speech, looking at the faces of the crowd, forgetting that the tnt under him was going to blow. 

xxxx

Wilbur rushes down the building heading to the hole in the hill where the button was located. The lyrics of L’manburg’s anthem carved into the walls. 

“ I heard there was a special place… Where men could go and emancipate, the brutality and the tyranny of their rulers. This place was real you needn’t fret, with Wilbur, Tommy , Tubbo, fuck Eret. It’s a very big and now blown up L’manburg. No ones L’manburg, no ones L’manburg, no ones L’manburg, no ones L’manburg…” He hits the button, laughing maniacally. 

xxxx

“TUBBO!!” Tommy screamed out as the TNT was ignited, blinding everyone with a bright white light. 

When Tommy could actually see, his eyes widened at the mass destruction that happened, the rubble, the blood. He wanted to throw up. He goes over to the rubble looking for Tubbo. 

“ Tubbo..? Tubbo!” He sees a tuft of blond hair, rushing over to push the rubble off him, causing his hands to bleed in the process. 

“Tubbo..I swear if you die... Please don’t leave me alone..! Open your eyes.. Please Tubbo...” Tommy shakes him, hoping, wishing he would open his eyes. He feels a hand on his shoulder, looking back to see who it was. It was Techno, Niki behind him. 

“Tommy.. W-was it Wilbur who did this..?” Niki asked, she appeared to look like she was crying.

“Yeah… Yeah.. It was Wilbur…”

Wilbur appeared at the top of the rubble, looking over the ruins of Manburg. Shocked at the damage he caused. He goes over to stand by the three others, looking at Tubbo in horror. Tommy saw him.

“Are you happy Wilbur? Is this what you wanted? Do you feel any remorse for what you did to them? To me? You said if you can’t have L’manburg no one can! This is exactly what you wanted so why aren’t you happy!? Is it because Tubbo is dead! Niki can’t even look at you like she used to! Look around Wilbur! Everyone’s dead because of you!” 

Wilbur doesn’t respond, taking a sudden interest in his shoes. 

“We were children! We were kids! We should be living our fucking lives instead of trying to cheat death because y’know what? Everybody fucking dies so why? WHY couldn’t you let us live?!” 

“We were trying to keep you alive, that's what all this war has been about.” Wilbur responded, sorrow in his voice.

“No… no it was about you getting what you want, you wanting to be a leader or whatever the fuck it is! Because you know what… you know what we were never safe!”

“That’s enough!” Tecno’s usually monotone voice wavered with emotions.

“ Hey– fuck you Technoblade! “that’s enough” who are you…. Who are you to say it’s enough!” 

  
  
  


xxxx

Dream had been watching the festivals on top of a hill, completely forgetting about Wilbur’s plan to light the TNT, until he saw it. Dust gathering from the explosion, he sprinted down to the site, looking for his friends. 

“ Dream!” He hears a voice yell, turning his head to look. It was George, clutching his left arm with his right, he fell to the ground, coughing. “ Dream… Sapnap please… help me…” 

“George!” He books it over to him, kneeling on the ground. “Hey, hey keep your eyes open. It’s going to be alright.. Don’t die on me– please…” 

He smiles, though his mouth filled with blood. “I’m sorry Dream.. It’s too late for me… Find Sapnap… I- i’m pretty sure I saw him with Karl..” 

“There is nothing to be sorry about George.. I just don’t want you to leave me…” He squeezes his eyes shut. 

“Dream..? Don’t let that crown fall off…” George smiles once more, his eyes fluttering shut. 

“George..? George, please.. Don’t leave me..” George didn't respond, his breathing had stopped. Dream stands up, slipping his mask on, and taking a deep breath before going to find Sapnap and Karl. 

xxxx

Quackity’s breath is taken away as he sees Schlatt under the rubble. Finally Schlatt’s tyranny is over. He’s finally free, no more being called Schlatt’s bitch. He sees Wilbur, Tommy, Techno and Niki heading over to them. 

“You happy Wilbur..? You won, Schlatt’s dead... What was the lyric “and not so blown up L’manburg” pretty ironic isn’t it?” 

  
  


xxxx

Dream walks around the area, helping anyone he sees under the rubble, taking them to the make-shift hospital he and Technoblade had made. Dream had called Eret to help them out.

They had kept their promise, and came as soon as they could. Helping out wherever they could, whether that be with helping to carry someone, making healing potions + providing ingredients with it, wrapping wounds with bandages, or writing the names of who had unfortunately passed away. 

There were four names on the passed away list an hour ago. 

  * _Tubbo_



  * _George_



  * _Jschlatt_



  * _Fundy_



Two were critically injured, it was unknown at the time if they’ll make it. 

  * _Karl_



  * _~~BadBoyHalo~~ (Passed away an hour ago)_



The rest were unconscious and lightly injured.

  * _Sapnap_



  * _Antfrost_



  * _Jack Manifold_



  * _Sam_



  * _Skeppy_



xxxx

Only Sapnap had woken up, in pain but he hadn’t let that stop him from going over to Karl. No matter how many times Dream tried to coax him back into bed and rest, Sapnap refused to head over to Karl. 

Their bond, Karl and Sapnap, as friends was very close. Nothing separated them. When Dream and Techno had found Sapnap in the rubble Karl was close by, If anything it looked like Sapnap was trying to protect Karl from the explosion. 

It was around an hour when Karl also woke up. The pain began to subside from a regen pot, and a golden apple Dream had given him. But Karl still thought he was going to die. 

“ I-I can’t stop it.. I’m sorry…” Karl rasp out to Sanap, holding his hand as tight as he could. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Just Breath. You don’t have to be sorry for anything. I’ve got you.” Sapnap makes a small smiles, holding his hand tightly

xxxx 

Wilbur had headed back to Pogtopia, not wanting to face anyone else… He could see the pain in Niki’s eyes as she stared at him. The guilt was weighing him down. He had a notebook that he wrote everyday. He had written about the voices, their desires and their wants. Neither Tommy or Techno had seen it. He had written one last thing in the notebook, his tears drying on the paper. 

  
  


Wilbur needed to leave, he needed to get out. He caused deaths by blowing up L’Manburg. He felt guilty… He had ran through the forest, breathing heavily. His feet hurt, maybe his feet were bleeding he didn’t know, but he didn’t let that stop him. The voices told him to keep running and not stop. It was about 10 minutes before the voices went silent so he took a breather, sitting down at the stump of a tree, holding his head up in his hands. 

His phone rings in his pocket, he pulls it out looking at the caller ID. It was Phil.. He hesitates before answering it.

“ I missed you Phil. Are you proud of me? I stuck to my word.” 

“ _Proud of you for murdering your friends? Proud of you for becoming a literal terrorist? That’s not the Wilbur I knew. You’ve fallen off the edge._ ” 

Wilbur chuckles dryly. “Why are you calling me, Phil? Are you here to tell me how much of a failure? I already know that” 

He can hear a sigh through the phone. “ _Wil, I want to help you, Techno wants to help you._ ” 

The silence lasted a while. Neither of them said anything. 

“Phil please… The voices are loud… Only you can help me…” Wilbur finally whispers out, only loud enough for Phil to hear over the phone. 

“ _Just hold in Wil… I’ll be there as soon as I can._ ” 

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2 months has passed...

It’s been 2 months since Wilbur has seen anyone other than Phil. It’s been 2 months since Wilbur has been on Dream SMP. It's been 2 months since Wilbur had ran away with Phil so he can help get his mental health back where it needed to be.

When Philza had picked him up, Wilbur told him that he didn’t want Techno, Tommy, or anyone in the SMP to know where he was. They did have to tell Dream so he can insure everyone who cared for him (though he doubted it was anyone at the time) that he wasn’t dead.

Phil had helped him a lot throughout the month, ensuring him that everything was going to be all right and that he was here for him when the voices had resurfaced. They resurfaced every once in a while but they were no longer as loud as they were, and at least a quarter of the voices were giving him good advice and not trying to get him to blow things up or trying their hardest to get him to kill Phil.

Wilbur had also taken the months to get back into playing guitar and songwriting, Phil had suggested that it could possibly help quiet the voices. And it did, for a while at least. Within a month he had finished the song he had been working on before the election called Your New Boyfriend. In the span of 2 months he had produced it. He had made sure they shot the music video in an area that his friends and brothers couldn’t recognize and try to hunt him down. He wasn’t ready to face them just yet when he had produced the song. The music video had gotten a little over 7 million views on youtube. Hours after he had posted the music video almost everyone who had interacted with him and actually considered him to be their friend had texted him or tried to call him. That's when the voices had started acting up again, the positive things they had said were drowned out by the negative things said. He had almost thrown his phone in lava and he would’ve done it if Phil hadn’t stopped him in time.

He’s also been very grateful that he let Phil help him out, the warmness of his fatherly touch had calmed him down a lot. Whenever Phil had embraced him in a hug, he would wrap his wings around him knowing that when Wil was a child his wings had always held him calm down. Phil hasn’t even tried to rush him to apologizing to everyone in the SMP. He let him take his time.

xxxx

2 weeks had passed without the voices controlling Wilbur’s thoughts. And he had decided that it was time to apologize to the SMP, and take responsibility for his actions. He wasn’t sure how to bring it up to Phil that he wanted to go back.

“Phil?” Wilbur spoke out, wondering where he was in the house.

“Over here, Wil!” Phil answered, sounding like he was in the chest room. Wilbur heads over there.

“Phil… I think I want to go back to the SMP, and take responsibility for my actions…”

“Oh? Alright, you want me to come with?”

“Yes please… Just in case someone is still angry at me…”

Phil nods his head in understanding. “Do you wanna go now?”

Wil nods his head as an answer.

xxxx

It didn’t take them long to get back into the SMP, Phil flying in, holding Wil. While flying he had spotted gravestones which hadn’t been there before. He lands in front of them, putting Wilbur on the ground. Wilbur looks at the 5 gravestones, remorse heavy in his heart. Tubbo’s grave was hurting him the most.

The duo had spent an half an hour standing there in silence, paying their respect. Wilbur had taken another moment to see what they did to the server while he was gone for 2 months and 2 weeks. The TNT explosion had turned into a historical sight, a new podium and seating area on top of the explosion sight, two houses behind it. Wilbur wondered who was president now, it would make sense if it was Tommy, but he wasn’t sure.

“Welcome back, Wilbur.” Dream had ender pearled behind the duo. Startling the both, swinging their head to look at him. His smiling mask was truly unnerving.

“Hey.. Dream, ” He makes a small smile. “Can you gather everyone who is here together..? I want to apologize for my actions and take responsibility for my actions...”

“Alright. We’ll be in L’manburg.”

“ Thank you, Dream.”

Dream nods in response, ender pearling back to L’manburg to get the rest.

They had spent another 20 minutes just standing there, in silence.

“Wil? I think everyones there now. You wanna go down?” Phil is the first one to speak out aft the moment of silence, though he was pretty quiet.

“Mhm… Can you go first? I-... Just in case they try attacking me…”

“Of course, I’ll see you soon.” Phil heads down to L’manburg, seeing Dream,Tommy, Techno, Sapnap, Karl, Niki, Punz, Purpled, Skeppy, Eret, Jack Manifold, Quackity, HBomb, Antfrost, Connor (who he was surprised to see) and Captain Puffy. He had no idea who some of these people were, but he had heard of them through Tommy.

“Phil!” Tommy calls out, tackling in a hug.

“And hello to you too Tommy” Phil hugs him back, smiling softly.

“We can't find Wilbur, Phil. He’s been gone for 2 months.. Dream seems to know where he is, but he isn't telling us..”

“I know, Tommy, that’s why I’m here.”

“You’re going to help us find Wil?” Tommy pulls away, looking at him with hope shining in his eyes.

“He doesn’t need to be found, Tommy. He’s already here.” Phil steps aside, showing Wilbur behind him, who had taken interest in his shoes.

“Wil!” It was Niki, who was the quickest to embrace him in a hug. Wilbur was shocked at first, not really sure how Niki could forgive him… He’s put their lives in danger and killed their friends with his actions. He hesitates before wrapping his arms around her.

“I was so worried about you… You can’t just leave without saying anything! And then a month ago you publish Your New Boyfriend then drop off the face of the earth? I tried calling you Wil, but you didn’t answer..” Niki pulls away, looking up at him.

“I-... I know… I’m sorry that I didn’t tell any of you where I was… Phil was helping me with it…”

“With what, Wilbur?” Techno questions, though if you didn’t know Techno it could sound like he was just saying something with his usually monotone voice.

“T-the voices… They’ve been plaguing me since after the election…” Wilbur says slowly, he knew whenever he talked about them they would come back whether they were positive or negative he wasn’t sure about.

“Wil.. Why didn’t you tell us? We would’ve helped you out.” Quackity spoke out for the first time, Wilbur’s head turned towards him.

“I couldn’t… No matter how badly I wanted to do so.. They wouldn’t let me…”

“It’s alright, Wil, we forgive you.” Niki smiles hugging him again.

xxxx

Wilbur had learned that Niki was the president of L’manburg now. He was staying with her for a while before he could build his own place. He was sitting on the couch scrolling on his phone, though he was still feeling very guilty about everyone's death. Tubbo and Fundy were still hitting the hardest.

He heads up to his current room, tired and wanting to try to go to bed. He crawled into bed, cuddled in his many blankets, and fell asleep after about an hour of just laying in bed.

There was a knock at his bedroom door. “Wilbur? It’s Tommy.”

No anwer.

The door creaks open, and Tommy peaks his head through. He see’s Wilbur already asleep. He heads into the room, closing the door behind him and slipping into the bed with Wilbur, which had woke him.

“Toms? Wh-when did you…?” His speech was slurred with sleepiness.

“Not too long ago…” He buries his face into Wilbur's stomach. “I missed you Wilby…”

“I missed you too, Tommy. Go to bed you gremlin child."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha feelings go brr


End file.
